What You Are Not Changing, You Are Choosing

There’s a moment in every leader’s life when they realise this: the things they’ve tolerated the longest are the things they’ve chosen the most.

It’s not easy to admit.

That team member who consistently underdelivers.

The meeting culture that eats hours but produces little.

The growing disconnect between who you are as a leader—and who you know you could be.

You’ve known. And yet, nothing changed.

Until now.

This isn’t about blame—it’s about ownership. Because what you are not changing, you are choosing. And in a world moving at pace, choosing not to change is choosing to fall behind.

The Quiet Creep of Comfort

We all start with the best of intentions.

Clear vision. High standards. Bold ambition.

But over time, things slip.

A deadline pushed back. A compromise made. An uncomfortable conversation avoided.

We rationalise it:

“It’s not the right time.”

“We’ve got bigger fires to fight.”

“It’s just the way things are.”

Comfort creeps in quietly. And before we know it, we’ve accepted things we once swore we’d never tolerate.

It’s not because we lack strength. It’s because busyness masquerades as progress. We keep moving, but we’re not always moving forward.

This is the paradox of leadership in 2025: you’re expected to navigate increasing complexity, deliver commercial results, and inspire high performance—often while running on empty.

But here’s the truth:

You can’t lead transformation in others if you’re stuck in stagnation yourself.

And stagnation rarely shows up as failure. It often looks like success… that’s just a bit too comfortable.

Awareness: The First Leadership Skill

Real leadership starts with self-awareness—the kind that requires courage to hold up the mirror and ask:

What have I allowed to drift?

Where am I coasting?

What am I tolerating that’s misaligned with my values, my mission, or my potential?

This isn’t self-criticism. This is clarity. And clarity is powerful.

Because the moment you see that your inaction is a form of action—that your silence is a kind of vote—you gain the agency to choose differently.

At Carruthers Executive, we work with leaders who’ve achieved a lot. But we also work with leaders ready for more—more alignment, more purpose, more impact. The common thread?

They don’t just want to do better.

They want to be better.

From Drift to Discipline

It’s a confronting realisation: that the gap between where you are and where you want to be is often built on the small choices you make every day.

The choice to speak up—or stay quiet.

To develop your team—or do it yourself.

To lead with courage—or manage with convenience.

And these choices compound. Over time, they shape your culture, your team’s performance, and your own sense of purpose.

Which is why real leadership isn’t about charisma or control.

It’s about consciousness—and the discipline to act on it.

Change doesn’t begin with strategy.

It begins with a decision.

A decision to stop choosing what no longer serves you.

The Courage to Change

Every leader hits an edge. A moment where you know: the way you’ve been working, leading, thinking—it’s not going to take you where you want to go next.

This is where ambition meets bravery.

It’s easy to want change. It’s harder to choose it.

Choosing change means disrupting the status quo—often one that’s served you well in the past.

It means making bold decisions before you're 100% certain.

It means calling out behaviours (even your own) that no longer align with the leader you want to be.

But this is the stuff of real leadership.

Because when you choose change, you choose to lead on purpose.

And when you lead on purpose, people notice.

Your team lifts. Your culture shifts. Your impact compounds.

The Ripple Effect of Choice

Here’s the thing: leaders don’t just influence their teams—they set the tone for what’s acceptable, what’s aspirational, and what’s possible.

When you choose not to change:

Your team stays silent instead of speaking up.

Mediocrity gets normalised.

Innovation takes a back seat.

But when you choose to change:

You create safety for others to do the same.

You unlock momentum.

You move from performance management to performance leadership.

One conversation. One decision. One shift in perspective. That’s all it takes to start a ripple effect that can transform an entire business unit.

From Awareness to Action: Five Questions to Ask

If you’re serious about choosing change, here are five questions worth reflecting on:

What am I currently tolerating that’s misaligned with my values or vision?

Where have I traded clarity for comfort?

What behaviour am I modelling that I wouldn’t want mirrored by my team?

What conversations have I been avoiding that would unlock progress?

If I made just one brave decision this week, what would it be?

Sit with these. Journal them. Talk them through with a coach, mentor or peer.

Then take action.

Because clarity without action is just philosophy.

A Leadership Choice

You don’t need to overhaul everything at once.

But you do need to start.

Choose courage over comfort.

Choose growth over safety.

Choose to become the leader you know you’re capable of being.

At Carruthers Executive, we see this moment often. It’s not a breakdown—it’s a breakthrough. A conscious shift from drifting with default… to leading with intent.

And it begins with the simplest, hardest truth of all:

What you are not changing, you are choosing.

So the only question is:

What are you ready to stop choosing—so you can finally start leading?